Rent, not the musical

I think the kids are on to me, big time. Yesterday, after my first day at the new job (let's just say this week is a baptism by fire kinda deal), I picked them up at like 6. We'd all had a long day. Lucian's eyes were bloodshot, his limbs sagging a little and Anna was giving me lip (enough to slap off if I wasn't afraid she would call DSS, or worse, her Nana). Thank god, my angel mother fed them dinner. Unfortunately that dinner included pudding. I actually have no idea how they can stomach the senior citizen-esque texture of that sh*t, but they did. So, tired, sassy, we're all ready to go home and of course, I need to deposit a check at the bank so that I can pay my rent...late.
"Ok, you guys, don't kill each other, I need to stop at the ATM and you're staying in the car."
"Ok." Lucian already has his Memorial Day flag poised above Anna's face.
"I'm not kiddin', Lucian. You guys so much as breathe on each other and you're done."
I frantically deposited, the whole while peaking out the door to make sure there wasn't any blood flowing freely out of the car. I must have looked stressed when I got back in.
"Mom, why'd you need to deposit a check? For toys?"
"No, Lucian, for rent."
"What's rent?"
Even Miss Know-it-All piped up. "Yeah, what's rent?"
"It's the money you pay to live in a place."
Lucian's voice became disbelieving, almost indignant.
"You mean, you have to pay MONEY to live somewhere?!" He was appalled.
"Yup."
"How much do you have to pay?" Anna is all about numbers.
"800 bucks a month."
"Holy sh*t!"
"You ain't kidding, buddy."
What could I say? He's right. Once we were all settled in (i.e. totally whipped and the kids had been yelled at more than 80 times) Lucian got very introspective.
"I don't want you to die, Mom."
"I don't plan on dying right now, so don't worry, babe."
"Will you be alive in heaven? Will you be able to walk?"
That's when Smarty Smurf offered her overrated two cents.
"She's not going to heaven, Lucian. She swears too much. Mom, you'll probably be reincarnated as a soldier."
Or a cigarette, I thought to myself.
"What's reincarnation?"
Holy sh*t, does he ever stop asking questions? Apple, tree, Nichole.
"It means you come back as something else after your body dies. Your spirit lives on in something else."
His gorgeous blue eyes got wide and he smiled a little.
"So, you won't ever die. Phew! Your spirit will be around to talk to. I can talk to soldiers. Maybe you'll be an owl."
I sucked in as much air as I could. I was looking at his face, and Anna's face, both raised and expectant, and two thoughts came to mind.
My, god, I can't leave them, not ever.
And...
Please, god, I hope I never have to search for their spirits while I am still trapped on earth in my plain body. My shoulders fell, I sighed again. Suddenly, paying the rent seemed so trivial.