Infringement

Given my current status as a journalist (there is more, but we are speaking strictly of my career) I have a lot of time to ruminate (and sometimes break) copyright laws. Mostly with pictures. But I am getting better.

Got me thinking about thought infringement. And the phrase "don't put words into my mouth."

Or thoughts into my head. You know the kind, the thoughts, mostly created by others, that encroach upon your process, sometimes your soul depending on how sensitive you are. I can say that I am very sensitive. But man, I put on a good circus of being a hard ass.

It's not as fun as it used to be. Now, it's just out of habit.

Thought infringement happens in many ways. It could be a casual infringement, like the backhanded compliment.

"I never knew how strong your back was. The tattoo really brings out your big shoulders."
Gee, thanks. As if I don't worry enough about the size of my *ss and my thighs, now I gotta twist my neck around like an owl to make sure I don't look like a linebacker. Sweet.
Or the parenting comments, one of my personal favorites.

"You know, your kids are so carefree. You don't really worry about their appearance. I love that about them."

Apparently, they have no idea that the shorts Lucian is wearing are his "dressy" pair and that Anna getting her ears pierced was a big step for all of us. Why don't you just come out and say that they're filthy hippies. I get it.

And then, oh then, there are the words that make you rethink your whole friggin' life. They are meant mostly in kindness but they are daggers when combined with your own f*cked up mentality.

"You seem like you should be a happier person. You should smile more."
Um, do I not seem happy? Is my misery written all over my face? Sh*t, have I missed out on all of this happiness? How do I get the years back? The smile?

Or the simple "I miss you." Sounds nice, right? But then the mind cockroaches come in and clean house. You miss me? Well, then, why don't you see me? Is it too hard for ya? I mean, I got a job, two kids, a giant family who needs me at different points and I would be over to you in a heartbeat if I didn't have two kids sleeping in their beds. And YOU miss ME? You clearly don't know the extent of "miss" here.

Total infringement on my day. And my thoughts.
It's a deadly brew to mix outside words with the inside, insecure web of the brain. At least my brain...