Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Thick blooded

I nearly went off the road last night listening to an NPR interview with the author of "Achoo." Yes, it is a book about the common cold and myths and solutions surrounding the common cold.
Guess what, Airborne is horsesh*t, but you already knew that. Did you really think an Alka-Seltzer tab with a brilliant marketing machine behind it would save you from this misery?

I hope not.

Chicken soup, also a load of crap. Although, she did say that the soup may speed up the healing process, not because it's chicken soup but because someone made it for you and knowing that others have empathy for you makes you feel better faster.

Imagine that. Empathy...could be the name of a lesser Norse god, probably one that tried to save a drowning puppy and got his hand bit off by it's rabid bitch mother. 'Cause that's how rare empathy feels. Poor empathy.

So, empathy is the cure. But here's what made me laugh...hard. She said in the interview that sleep deprivation and chronic stress are the two key components to contracting a cold.
"Normally people who sleep less than 7 hours are more susceptible. As well as people who are under a lot of stress."

Of course, I went over in my mind how many hours of sleep I've gotten in the past, oh, let's say 5 days. It might add up to 7 if I round up. And stress, well, stress is like beef jerky for me. I gnaw on it, its salty juices release in my mouth, but yet, it provides no sustenance whatsoever.

I coughed a little after the interview was over. When I got home I was sure I had swine flu, and by the time I got to bed, loaded up with Zyrtec and contemplating mixing Thera-Flu with rum (my famous 'hot toddy') I was sure that by morning the snot army would come and take my dignity.

Nope. Still here, nasal passages are dry as the Gobi. But I'm still contemplating the Thera-Flu for sh*ts and giggles. It may help with the whole sleep-deprivation thing. Or the whole having thoughts after 10 p.m. thing...

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