Thursday, December 1, 2011

Dirt is...dirty

I hope I haven't lost all of you in my two-month hiatus. A good friend of mine has been hounding me to get a blog up before Christmas. Actually, I'm glad I took a break for a bit, sort of a two-month renewal if you will. Don't worry, I didn't go off on some retreat and wake up every morning at 3 a.m. and eat brown rice and meditate. Can you meditate while drinking coffee? Is that even allowed? Not that I would have cause to give a sh*t, unfortunately.
What better way to kick start the blog once more than by sharing my little observances of small town life, especially as winter reaches out her icy grip. It's not so much the weather that makes people crazy (although, October's blizzard nearly caused me to have a stroke), but the lack of light, perhaps? Not enough pizazz in your life so you gotta set off some rockets using other people's lives as the match?
Just curious. I find that even when I'm not part of an actual conversation about this scandal or that, I somehow end up hearing it, or just walking into it. This is one reason why I need to quit smoking, for good. Usually, people go outside to smoke, whether it's at a bar or a family function, and aside from the smoke itself, I do end up walking right into a sh*tstorm of gossip, or worse, a marital fight.
Like you can emasculate your husband on the sly! C'mon. We all see your lips moving and the snarling teeth. I know, I've done it. Hence, the divorce.
Anyway, so there it is, the gossip. It lures me in at first, because I'm not sure who the key players are or if it's a good thing or a bad thing,etc. Then it gets ugly. I've noticed that once someone with "information" has an audience, that's when the show begins.
Most of these updates center around, you guessed it, infidelity. Which, by the way, is a highly interpretive term, open to all kinds of judgments and even some sympathy. In a nutshell, however, cheatin' is the cross upon which many small town residents are nailed at one point or the other.
"Can you believe he found his wife, in their bed, with another man!?"
What do ya say to something like that? Um, yeah, I believe it. He's a drunk and she's been miserable for years and the other guy is hot and she doesn't have to wash his nasty skivvies every day.
Usually, I just try to look neutral and ask how the kids are taking it. What amazes me is how suddenly incredulous and self-righteous everyone becomes when they find out. How suddenly, we, the faithful are exalted as angels because we didn't wind up in the sack with somebody else. Like this is the dipstick upon which we measure our own moral fortitude.
Gimme a break. Maybe it's my own f*cked up sense of right v. wrong, but I can think of a lot worse, or comparable, actions than a roll in the hay with someone else's spouse. How is that any different from, say, giving your kids sh*tty food every day or lying to your mother or screwing your family (this usually involves money)? It all seems to simmer in the same pot of deceit and selfishness. The end result is hurt, it doesn't matter how you got there.
So, who's side do you take? There are no sides, sin (or whatever you want to call it) is pretty weighty stuff. Recently, I learned of a couple who, after several years of marriage, most of them miserable, have finally decided to call it quits. I don't know if it is because of her doe-eyed face or the fact that she vomits her woes on anyone who will listen, but a majority of "spectators" sided with the wife.
"He's a useless bastard, she should've left him a long time ago. He just used her for her money."
I am perplexed because these are the same people who, until this point, have been on speaking terms with the guy and even had him over to dinner or waved to him in the street, or congratulated him on his wedding her!
"But his wife was banging somebody else for awhile, maybe a few somebody's," I said, no better than any other gossip. "I mean, that's kind of awful, too. And if you guys thought he was such a prick, why didn't you say anything?"
Dead silence.
"It's not my place."
Aaaah, I see. But it's your place to cast judgment and then rename it "fact," as if this was all some kind of sick science experiment. It's laughable. And just plain sad.
Is there a lesson here? I'm not really sure. Is it human nature to judge and cast social sentences, you bet. Is it right? You're asking me?
Something about glass houses...

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