I just ate a green swedish fish and a few bites of a bagel (that tasted like bleach) for breakfast. And this isn't even how the day began. In fact, the day began yesterday when my phsych. doctor said I had "acute anxiety" and needed to destress because she thinks acute "ptsd" has destroyed my seratonin levels. The solution, using "imagery" to relax and taking Kava, Kava at night with B supplements.
Um....do you have a hotline I can call on Christmas Eve in case none of this works? 'Cause I can tell you right now, you ain't seen Christmas in my life. It's a Greek tragedy combined with a Seinfeld episode and an Arthur Miller play.
Something like that. I'll be throwing the presents in the woodstove in no time. Can't wait for that call to go through.
"Um, hello, 911, my mom just through my new DS into the fire and now she's running around in her underwear outside screaming something about thankless a**holes and should've taken that job in New York. Please help!"
So, all of you with scanners, be on the alert, there should be some entertaining stuff happening in sleepy south county on Christmas morning.
Santa needs a lobotomy. Or a little more vitamin d and some Zanax.
Hope everyone is having a fun time during this big build up to Christmas day. Which will then be followed by a let-down akin to post-partum depression, then resolutions none of us will keep because we're too busy, too cold, and too traumatized...apparently.
This is a darkly humorous bit about life as a rural mother and freelance writer in Western Massachusetts. Little Appalachia, if you will. The title, I feel, clearly reflects how life is coming at me like an overloaded freight train, and my own ridiculous response to it. Me VERSUS all; teenage children, people who want me to work for free, conservative government, food karma, weird menfolk. You'll either laugh, shrug your shoulders, or call DSS immediately. Happy reading.
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