Tuesday, January 5, 2010

$5 and pretending

I bought a petit four for 5 bucks today. Actually it was half price because it had Christmas filigree and, oh my god, it's after New Year's so that poinsettia is a little behind the times. So is the snowman set against the white chocolate.
When the lady said they were half price, you can imagine my absolute joy. I ate the first one in the street. Stood completely still and ate it (while my mother did the same thing with an overpriced coconut bon-bon, we took up the whole sidewalk). The second one is sitting in my fridge, hidden from view, so that I will at least have something to look forward to when it is 1 a.m. and I still haven't fallen asleep. Man, that sh*t is good.
"I could get used to this." My mother sprayed some coconut pieces onto my coat.
I wiped the almond paste from the corners of my mouth.
"Me, too."
And that was it. Lunch. Of course, the specialty candy was preceded by hardcore barrista coffee. When people ask about how I stay so thin, I lie and say "diet and exercise." The truth is, well, sporadic eating habits, masochistic winter hikes up snowy mountains, cigarettes, stress, an ulcer, and amazing genetics. Oh, yeah, and vanity. I'm not up sizing my clothes, not on your life. I don't have the cash anyway, so, this business has to stay right where's it's at.
After the candy orgasm we pretended to shop around town. Actually, most of the shops we tried to go into were closed due to new "winter hours" or just downright empty and out of business.
"This is depressing." My mother was peering into an empty store space that was filled to overflowing with clothing the week before.
"You could have another bon-bon if you feel that badly."
"I could. God, I really wanted a skirt from that place. I was just waiting for the right moment."
"What moment is that? When they were going to give it away?"
We continued our walk and talk, weak from not eating and jittery from the coffee/candy duo, knowing that all that not pretending was waiting for us when we got home.

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