Tuesday, January 19, 2010

All in favor....

I was watching Wanda Sykes's "Sick and Tired" routine last night and two things stood out. One was that I was laughing so hard I almost peed. I mean laugh out loud, wicked woman snickering, especially when she said to the general male audience "Oh, you didn't know that, we try to imagine killing you at least once a day. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day." I cannot tell you how many times I've stood there shaking my head at my male counterparts, mostly in disbelief.
"So, you mean you just slept with her knowing her boyfriend was in the apartment next door?"
"So, you thought I wouldn't find the frilly pink panties on the floor?"
"So, you told her she needed to lose more than a few pounds if she wanted to be happy?"
"You told her to suck it up when she was having contractions?"

I could continue, but I won't because I don't have my heart medication on hand.
The second thing I noticed about my hero Wanda was her observation that as you get older you just don't give a f***. Now that is a profound truth! I've been feeling that way for a few months now, and the feeling is becoming more intense. It's a little scary and reckless. But, man, so freeing at the same time.
"Mom, is it OK if I wear the same pair of pants three days in a row?"
"I don't give a f***, honey."
"Do you want me to put the eggs with the bread?"
"Do I look like I give a f***?
"We don't have any toilet paper."
"Sorry, I just don't give a f***."

My only hope is that my face does not betray me. Supposedly, it has been very transparent these days and so the potential for offense is in the Orange Zone. That's why I've been staying at home a lot. I've narrowed my "give a f***" factor down to a few things, and none of them involve family feuds, being a few days late with the insurance payment, or whether or not the bed is made.
I'm trying to focus on how to explain to my daughter that her classmate calling her a Negro is a bad thing. Or on the fact the we have a state Senatorial race in which a f***ing Republican might take office. Or that children IN THIS COUNTRY, and in other nations are not eating. Yeah, I do give a f*** about that. We all should.

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