Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Altered states

Sorry for the every other day pattern that's been happening of late. It's the kind of week where I get my coat on, get my notepad and pen, charge the batteries for the camera, start the car, and am just about to head out the door when the phone rings, and something needs to be taken care of right there and then, no exceptions.
I'm sure you get it. It's one of the consequences of a) freelancing and b) choosing your art as the means by which you buy groceries.
Not smart. I took a phone interview in a parking lot yesterday, and at a rest stop last week. Very shady stuff. In fact, I've had a cop following me up Route 7 for the past week. I almost want him to pull me over and search the car. I will get some sick amusement out of watching him sift through the granola bar wrappers and plastic figures in the back. And I will really enjoy watching him blush a million different shades when he finds that my glove box is filled with blank "thank you" cards and multiple feminine items, including a green thong from a poetry reading at a bra store.
And lucky me, I'll have the camera with me.
Just as an aside, my children bring home P.T.O. fundraiser forms every two seconds. I'm not sure what's expected of the parents, seeings how we are in the worst economy since the Civil War. And every fundraiser so far has involved food. Not granola, tofu, herbal tea food but big-ass bake your own, or eat it raw cookie doughs, cinnamon buns, vats of hot chocolate food. The latest "Valentine's" fundraiser is a picture book filled with chocolates. Now, I am the first person to profess my love for chocolate (dark only, preferably bitter), but I am also the first to point to the childhood obesity statistics in this country. 1 out of every 5. I'm thinking the next fundraiser should be peddling stair masters, really bouncy balls, and acai berry cleansers.
And the prize is a day with the Super Nanny and Dr. Oz.

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